Oh crap moment.s

This week didn't really start out too good.

First my boyfriend co-erced into having sex in the woody bit across from college. Which I really don't know hwy I let him cos it was really uncomfortable and juts not that good. But then we find out that people in the smoking area could see us cos (even though we checked) there were thin patches in the hedges on the other side O.O So embarrassing. So now I feel like a freak and slightly used cos he really doesn't seem bothered by it.

Then later I had to have the mandatory counseling session that Kelly made me do. I swear the womans eyes popped out of their sockets when I started talking about my ever so dysfunctional family. Who I wll get back to in a moment.

Then, I told Joe I was never having sex with him again (empty threat) so he turns to Meg and smiles at her. Bearing in mind that the two had a fuck buddy situation going before he got with me. The entire situation itself already really gets to me but when he does stupid stuff like that it really pisses me off. Its like I dont even matter. So I walked away in a huff. Then in psychology we were doing freuds theory and I swear i must have been twitching. Everything we do is driven by our unconcious wants. It made me feel so crappy, cos its like he doesnt really care about me cos he knows that he can just go back to Meg without any problems.

Anyway, away from the crappy boyfriend, I found out that my Mum (who was 7 months pregnant) had lost the baby and because of how far gone she was she is going to have to give birth to it. All the pleasure and none of the gain. She deserves do much better! I wish she had never gone crazy. So cos of that Dannae has to stay with us for a few days.

Then I come in today, all depressed and confused cos I'm not sure how I feel about the loss of Kiera Louise (yes she had a name.) And Joe doesn't care. The only thing he cares about is the fact that Kelly is making him have more counseling sessions. He really is such a selfish prick sometimes.

Then he tried to make me go to Dockside with him when I didnt want to cos he needs a present for his dads bday (even though eh went yesterday and could have got him something then.) and he starts going on about how he never asks anything of me, which is bullshit if you look at the day before. He's so selfish.

So yeah, in a real bad place right now and cant even fucking commit suicide cos i cant swallow pills and everything else is too messy lol